


Supernatural - Road to Revenge

by Sovereign_Saraya



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:07:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23705089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sovereign_Saraya/pseuds/Sovereign_Saraya
Summary: Nicole 'Nikki' Williams tried her best to bury her past, but what happens when something jeopardizes that? What happens when she is forced to become everything she once hated? Will she change for the better or will she turn back into that person once more? Because they all say the road to revenge is a dangerous one. Just how dangerous is it?
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s)





	1. Chapter 1

**_Family don't end in blood; but it doesn't start there either.  
_ ** **_Family cares for you.  
_ _Not what you can do for them._  
Family is there, for the good, the bad, all of it.  
They got your back.Even when it hurts.  
That's family.**

I jolted awake, feeling the body next to mine sweaty and thrashing about, words laced thick with a mix of sleep and panic left the lips of the person I care so deeply about and I felt powerless because I couldn't help. Pulling back the covers my dainty hands worked hard trying to get a hand free from the clutched covers – I knew it was dangerous trying to interfere with a night terror but they were getting more frequent and longer each time as the nights passed on, what were a few minutes now lasted almost an hour maybe more. It was at that moment Sam had burst into our room like he had done times before in order to try and comfort his brother and myself, he always had the same look on his face, his eyes filled with panic and pain as he saw what was happening to his brother and again powerless to help. All we could do was be there for Dean but at night he was vulnerable but during the day he became recluse and defensive always looking for a distraction whether that be a case, alcohol or sex.

"Dean? I need you to wake up." I said softly but just loud enough in hopes for him to hear.

"Dean." Sam said, still stood in the hallway illuminated by the lights in the bunker.

Dean continued to thrash his body about the bed, sweat beaded from his forehead and slid down on his pillow, his grip slightly loosened on the clutched covers but immediately latched onto my wrist squeezing tightly, it felt like my wrist could snap at any given moment, the sheer pure strength that Dean had for his fight instincts were frightening as I felt my entire body being pulled towards him. Wincing at the pain Sam had rushed over sitting on the edge of the bed and offered me his hand to balance out the pain, to which I gladly took, I gave a weak smile in an attempt to try and calm the younger Winchester. But it was getting too much and I felt tears well up in my eyes and slip down my face and bounce onto the mattress.

"Dean, please I need you to wake up." I said with a whimper.

Somehow my prayers were answered and Dean bolted awake and looked around he noticed both me and Sam, he took a shaky breath and ran a large hand through his hair. He then noticed his iron grip on my wrist and let go so quickly like he had touched something hot.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled and turned away the look of shame and guilt riddled his features.

"It's ok." I replied softly to him trying to reach out to comfort him, but Dean turned away ashamed. Sam placed an innocent kiss to the top of my forehead and brushed the strands of hair covering my face, then got up and made his way to his older brother and gave him a hug, using my index finger I wiped the stray tears that had stained my face and then rubbed my wrist to try and soothe the angry pain that had been flowing throughout, in a matter of moments while in complete silence Sam had left the room closing the door, the click and the sound of mine and Dean's combined breathing filled the room.

Letting out a sigh Dean asked "I did it again, didn't I?" breaking the silence still looking anywhere but at me because he was too embarrassed of what he had done.

"It wasn't as bad this time Dean." I replied softly trying to sound hopeful.

"Nikki, I hurt you again." He admitted angrily a hand shooting up to cover his face. I let out a small sigh, I knew he was hurting, I knew he was guilty for what he had just done and for his actions in the past but it didn't change how I felt about him. I still loved him for everything that he is. I inched ever closer and gently put my arms around him and rested my head on his back even though his navy blue t-shirt was drenched in sweat and clung to him like it was a second skin.

Dean Winchester was a man to whom he was marked with a curse and we as a family had no idea how to get rid of it.

We sat together for a few minutes until I registered that his breathing was getting calmer, when I felt he was at a point I shuffled around once more so I could see his face, his eyes were red at the point of bursting into tears. "Hey, listen to me. I'm fine. I'm ok." I said to reassure him using his hands to touch different parts of my body as a sign to him that I was not fragile like he thought in his dream state.

"What if next time I don't wake up? What if next time it's your throat and not your wrists?" Dean asked, sounding panicked. "It won't come to that Dean." I replied to him placing my hand on his cheek.

"But what if it does?" He asked again, his breathing had intensified once more.

"Then we deal with it." Rubbing my thumb on his cheek.

"You could do so much better." Dean mumbled a moment later.

"I could. But I won't. I want you Dean Winchester and only you." I told him, planting a kiss to his cheek.

In the morning I woke up to an empty bed, letting out a grumble as I was never a morning person, I stretched around under the sheets, I finally got up and out of bed. Running my hand through my thick brown hair, tugging through a few knots and then proceeding to rub the sleep from my eyes I made my way to the kitchen as the smell of bacon wafted through my nostrils. Padding through the hallway I noticed that Sam was still asleep not like I blamed him the past few weeks had been tough on all of us, Dean was frustrated with his actions and his sleepless nights, Sam had been disappearing throughout the day and it confused both me and Dean but we had assumed it was down to a new lady friend Sam was yet to introduce to us. I was tired of looking through countless lore books to find ultimately nothing. As I made it into the kitchen I saw Dean plate up some bacon.

"Now that is a sight I never get tired of seeing." Dean said with a cheeky smile eyeing me up and down. Chuckling at him and heading to where the caffeine was, I poured some of the delicious substance into two cups and made my way to the table sitting opposite Dean as he ate his mornings work.

"How did you sleep?" Dean asked sheepishly.

"Other than the fact I woke up to a cold and empty bed I slept ok, the bacon though makes up for the absence." I replied playfully, reaching out to Dean's hand pinching the half eaten piece of bacon from him.

"That was mine." He said to me.

"What's yours is mine and what's mine is also mine, Winchester. You should know that by now. I teased. Dean leaned over and kissed me – hard. It felt like he had been starved and he relished in my touch, our mouths molded together perfectly like they had done so many times before. I reluctantly broke the kiss due to lack of oxygen in my lungs. "We shouldn't really do this here, we prepare food here." I panted.

"Your right, let's take this somewhere else." Dean said leaping from his seat holding my hand.

Once again Dean used sex as a distraction.

A week later it was back to work looking for cases and flicking through files that were yet unread. Sam had gone out again which left me and Dean in the library, he had his feet up on the table with a whiskey glass in hand as he scrolled down on the laptop in front of him. Tossing the file I had just read into the cardboard box on the floor, I then proceeded to pick up another when the door to the bunker opened and closed and I looked up seeing Sam make his way down the spiral metal staircase. "That lady friend of yours is keeping you busy." Dean mocked his little brother.

"Uh yeah." Sam replied taking off down the hallway, noticing the odd behavior I also got up from my seat. Dean looked up from the laptop shooting me a look. "I'll be back in a minute." I promised to Dean with a smile, he nodded his head and downed the remaining contents of his drink. I hurried to Sam's room and softly knocked on the door and walked in closing it behind me.

"Yeah I'll call you back." Sam had said to the other person on the phone and then the call ended he then stuffed his phone into his jean pocket.

"Either that lady friend of yours is very, very demanding or you're hiding something Samuel which is it?" I asked him taking a seat on the edge of his bed, Sam had propped himself up against the desk that was in his room, while he had his hands tucked underneath his armpits.

"Nikki it's nothing." Sam attempted, looking at me in my general direction.

"Sam I wasn't born yesterday, you of all people should know that. Care to explain your absences, over the past few weeks?"

"Dean's not getting any better Nik." Sam interrupted.

"Don't you think I know that? You look like hell Sam but you won't get any sleep if you don't make it to bed. What's going on? Why are you just disappearing without warning?" I asked him, hoping he would give me an answer.

"I do that sometimes..."

"No Sam you don't, after all the years I've known you. You just disappearing like you have been doing isn't something you do.

"I've got people working on a cure for Dean." He admitted. Tilting my head in confusion. "People? Like who?"

"Just people Nikki, I didn't want to get your hopes up hence why I kept quiet." Sam replied softly running one his large hands through his brown hair.

"There's keeping quiet and then there's keeping secrets Sam." I snapped with a huff crossing my arms.

"You're going to just have to trust me on this one Nik." Sam said to me, sighing.

"We're meant to be family Sam, I know whatever you're doing is for Dean, you think it's worth pushing everyone away for it. But don't come to me when it blows up in your face." I said angrily, getting to my feet and making a beeline for the door, I reached out for the handle and turned to look at him once more.

"Please don't say anything." Sam uttered a plea.

"This conversation isn't over."

After the conversation with Sam, I was pissed. We often confided in each other and the fact he kept this from me hurt. But if he was trying to help Dean and was not off getting laid I suppose I couldn't be as angry as I wanted to be. I headed over to the kitchen, my need for any form of alcohol was needed. Beer? Whiskey? I'll take whatever I could find. Opening the door to the fridge when my phone started to buzz in my pocket. I fished it out looking at the caller ID.

I let out another sigh which must have been my hundredth sigh of the day.

"This day just keeps getting better and better." I said with sarcasm dripping from lips to the other person on the phone.


	2. The Phone Call

"This day just keeps getting better and better." I said with sarcasm dripping from lips to the other person on the phone.

"Nice to hear from you too, where are you?"

"None of your god-damn business, you've got a lot of nerve ringing me. Considering you wanted nothing to do with me, so what's changed this time?" I replied bitterly.

"I'm using up my ONE free call for you, be grateful..."

"Grateful? You are joking?" I shouted, getting irritated.

My shouting in the kitchen brought Sam into the room. He looked at me with concern written all over his face.

"But I feel so privileged that you decided to call me, so what did you get arrested for this time? Shoplifting? I teased.

"As much as I would love to carry on our conversation my call time is almost up."

Sam raised his eyebrow, he knew exactly who I was talking to, and he also looked shocked that I was speaking to them. Realising that the fridge door was still open I reached in to grab two bottles of beer, shoving the phone in between my shoulder and ear I twisted the cap to the bottle and took a large swig. "You got yourself into trouble, I trust that you can get yourself out of it." I said getting ready to hang up the call.

"Coley, wait please. Something wasn't right and it's...it's your kind of weird please just get me out of here and I'll get my shit together."

Letting out a sigh I placed the bottle on the island in the middle of the room. "Where are you Nia?"

"Nevada."

And with that the call dropped so either my sweet sister hung up or she ran out of time. I bent down and rested my head on the counter, letting out a groan.

"Do I dare ask what's going on?" Sam asked me leaning against the island, handing me my beer.

"Nia got herself arrested again...I have half the mind to let her ungrateful arse rot in jail." I said with a huff taking my beer and downing the contents.

"But she said something didn't add up which means there could be a case or that the bail is far too much and she's using what I do as a method to get herself out of jail...again" I added.

Sam let out a chuckle since he was familiar with mine and my sister's love-hate relationship.

"She's family though Nik."

"Take note of your own words Sam." I scoffed and got up and brushed past him and went to find Dean.

Turns out Dean had given up looking for cases and research and had retreated to the 'Dean Cave' he was engrossed in some horror movie, I entered the room, plonking myself in the recliner next to him I swiped the bottle of whiskey he was still drinking from.

"You look happy." Dean teased not looking from the large TV on the wall.

"Fancy a drive tomorrow?" I asked him, taking a sip of the alcoholic beverage feeling the burn as the contents slid down my throat.

"Where?" Dean asked.

"Nevada..." I replied with a grumble.

Dean turned to look at me and he raised an eyebrow as a sign to get me to explain what was going on. A look I had seen many times before.

"So you know my favourite sister Nia?" I asked, playing with my fingers.

"Nia is your only sister..."

"Well the moron got herself arrested. She claims something wasn't right and basically is insinuating that it's a case. I'm in two minds of going because she's played this trick before." I explained.

"If it is a case we can gank whatever son of a bitch it is. If not I can have great pleasure irritating your sister." Dean replied with a chuckle.

"No wonder she doesn't like us." I laughed leaning towards Dean almost climbing in his seat resting my head on his shoulder.

The rest of the evening consisted of beer, whiskey and a horror movie marathon which was nice for a change. We agreed that we would leave first thing in the morning and it would be best to try and get some shut eye. Brushing my teeth in the sink in our room, Dean was on the laptop whilst laid in bed. "So it seems that there was a robbery last night."

"Wobbery?" I asked while still having the toothbrush still in my mouth, earning a snigger from Dean I spat the toothpaste out and tried again. "Robbery?"

"Yeah seems the Monroe Art Gallery held a 'Black Tie Event' last night and a painting called 'The Souls of Gabriel' was stolen only to find it dumped in an alleyway with part of the frame smashed to pieces. According to the police reports Nia's prints were all over the thing." Dean explained as I got into bed, as I snuggled closer to him I looked at the police report he currently had loaded on the screen.

"Seems that Nia can't account for her whereabouts, they even ran a tox screen on a blood sample which came up clean." I said reading out loud. "You thinking demon?" I asked.

"Could be, we won't know for sure until we get down there and ask her." Dean replied, shutting the laptop and setting it on the bedside table. Bringing me closer in his arms. "I know seeing Nia again after all these years is going to be difficult Nik, I'll be there every step of the way." Dean whispered to me, planting a kiss on the top of my forehead. As he laid on his back I rested my head on his chest. The steady rise and fall of his chest sent me into a peaceful slumber.

I couldn't sleep, my mind was just racing with memories of me and my older sister mainly the last time we had spoken.

Nia paced around the motel room hands on her hips, I got up from the chair in the kitchenette heading over to my sister trying to comfort her. "You're crazy! Mom and Dad should have left you to rot in that foster home, you got them killed with all this nonsense." 

Tears formed in my eyes feeling hurt by the harsh words that came out of Nia's mouth. 

"Nia...Listen to me you saw the demons..." I said as I choked on my tears. 

No Nicole! You listen! You were the reason that Mom and Dad died if you hadn't have come into our lives they would have still been alive!" She shouted as she headed towards the door, she turned

"We're done." And with that she left the room and I was left in a state of shock and upset...

Dean was snoring softly - at least he was settled for once getting some much needed sleep. I turned over in bed trying to get myself comfortable when I heard a door squeak open and close and the sound of boots walking down the hallway. I checked my phone to see the time - 12:36AM. Wanting to find out what Sam was doing I carefully got out of bed, threw on a pair of jeans and one of Dean's shirts quickly pulling on my boots and exited the room as quietly as possible, taking in a quick glance at Dean to whom had just turned onto his side facing away from the door. Slipping out the room I crept through the bunker making my way through the library. I grabbed the keys and helmet to my motorbike as that was the quieter vehicle and proceeded outside, as I sat on my bike I saw that the run-around Sam often used was missing so putting on my helmet flicking the visor down so it covered my face and then started the engine to my bike giving it a few soft revs and then left the bunker leaving Baby in the driveway.

I must have driven a few miles up the road as I saw a layby and a familiar yellow 1976 AMC Gremlin along with Sam's car parked. I saw a figure sitting on a picnic table and a taller figure stood up. Pulling into the layby I saw two heads turn to look at me as I parked very close to the two, turned the engine off I took off my helmet shaking my long hair in the process. "I should have known you would have brought Charlie into this mess Sam." I said bluntly.

"Hiya Nikki." Charlie interrupted the awkward silence hopping off the table to give me a hug.

"Hi Charlie." I replied embracing my favourite nerd.

"So what are we gonna do about it?" Charlie asks Sam as if they were continuing their conversation.

Sam looked at me nervously. "Don't stop on my account." I said sarcastically.

"I got hold of a codex which is sort of a...a collection of supernatural code-breaking tools and it should help crack 'The Book of the Damned'." I raised an eyebrow at him. "You mean that thing you got out of that safe in the suicide house you and Dean went to?"

"Yeah."

"That would be awesome if the book, you know, actually existed." Charlie replied.

"She's got a point Sam you burned it when we were at the cabin having our asses handed to us." I told him.

"It does. Uh I, um...I swapped it out right before it looked like I burned it." Sam admitted looking down at the floor.

"Okay. Well, Dean wanted it burned. So is he pissed?" Charlie asked her voice full of concern while I was still sitting on my bike. "He doesn't know. I didn't know until now." I said sternly, giving Sam a good glare.

"Look Dean's not in the right place. He would try to stop me. He's given up, I have an expert looking at the codex as we speak..."

"If you say Rowena is your expert you need your head examined Sam, she can't be trusted." I yelled. "Going behind Dean's back? Did I mention that this whole thing reeks? Nikki is right she is one of the most dangerous witches..."

"If we don't do this...this might be the only shot at saving Dean." Sam admitted looking defeated.

The three of us stood in the cool air in silence, Charlie was the first to make a move giving both me and Sam a respected hug, got in her car and left saying that she needed some time to think it over. I knew that one way or another she would help as we were a family. Charlie saw Dean and Sam as her brothers and she would do anything to help either one of them. As her car faded into the distance Sam spoke. "I should have been honest with you." Letting out a sigh. "Damn straight you should have, I want Dean to be back to normal just as much as you do Sam but keeping secrets and going behind our backs isn't the way to do it." I replied in a softer tone of voice.

"I'm sorry Nikki." Sam said as he brought me into a hug. "Look, me and Dean are going to find Nia and get that whole situation straight with her. Use that time to find the answers you need...I just wish I stayed back at the bunker now Sam, as I now have to hide this all from Dean and one way or another it's going to end up being messy." I admitted pulling away from Sam.

Putting my helmet back on I left Sam in the layby, the gravel shifted underneath my tyres as I sped off back to the bunker. I loved riding my bike, it was the power and speed of how the bike played with my adrenaline and cleared my mind at the same time. Carefully bringing the bike to a stop, setting the stand so it wouldn't tip over and scratch the paint I made my way back inside playing my helmet and the keys on the table in the war room. Trying to fix my serious case of helmet hair I heard a clearing of the throat. I turned to see Dean in just pyjama bottoms. "Couldn't sleep?" He asked voice laced with a little sleep. "Yeah this whole thing with Nia, is just keeping my head awake." I said partly lying. While I was concerned about my sister it wasn't the thing keeping me from sleeping. "Is that my shirt?" He asked me as he reached out pulling me to him, I collided with his bare chest softly. "Maybe." I teased.

By 9AM we were on the road, Baby was eating up the miles as we got ever closer to Nevada. We had the best of 'Mullet Rock' playing on the stereo while I checked the map finding out where we were. A couple empty fast food take out cartons were by my feet as I slurped the last of my fizzy drink. Dean had the driver window down enjoying the drive. "After mile marker 90 we should be about 7 hours out." I told him as I folded the map up and placed it on the back seat and then pulled my sunglasses down on my face to keep the sun out of my eyes. "Well we're in no shortage of motels." Dean said, turning to look at me briefly before bringing his attention back on the road. Taking the wheel in just one hand he rested his right hand on my thigh. I smiled, placing my own hand on top of his.

We got to a motel at about midnight, both exhausted from the drive we slumped into the room slinging our bags on the table in the kitchenette, as Dean made his way to the bathroom I fell face first onto the bed slightly bouncing when I hit the mattress. Within minutes I was fast asleep.

I must have woken up a few hours later seeing Dean sat at the table on the laptop. "Hey sleepyhead." He said with a chuckle. Climbing out of bed I walked over to him wrapping my arms around him as I peered over his shoulder looking at the screen. "So that is 'The Souls of Gabriel'?" I asked. Dean nodded. "Seems like it's had quite the adventure, been in the possession of a few owners over the last couple of centuries. Rumor has it that there was a scroll hidden inside the frame. Could be why the painting itself was found in the alleyway and why the frame was destroyed. Whatever was on the scroll must be important. Dean explained. "I bet." I murmured into his shoulder.

The next morning Dean and I were dressed in our 'Fed Threads' as we headed over to the police station, entering the building I noticed the hustle and bustle around and we made our way to the front desk, fishing out our fake FBI badges from our jackets we showed the officer who was typing on a computer. "Hi I'm Agent Kevin, this is Agent Perry. We're here because you've got my informant by the name Nia Williams." The officer pulled a look of disbelief. "Agents Kevin and Perry?"

"My mother wasn't a fan either when she married my dad." I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Nobody by the name of Nia Williams here." The officer said turning back to the computer.

"Perhaps you've seen her instead." Dean added trying to save the conversation showing the officer a picture of Nia off his phone.

"Her? Yeah she's here but booked her in as Lila Cox, she's cooling off in interview room 2."

"We alright to speak with her?" I asked.

"I'll get the detective who has the case." I nodded and then the officer left.

"Lila?" Dean asked me close to my ear. "I know we have aliases but I've seriously lost track of the countless ones Nia uses." I replied with a whisper.

"Agents." We both turned to see the detective who was in charge.

"We're here to speak with Lila Cox." Dean said to the male.

"What can I do for you? She's a suspect in a robbery charge. If you insinuate that she walks free, I'll hang up my gun and badge. We caught your girl, end of story." 

I crossed my arms, altering my posture slightly to try and make myself a little more intimidating. "Detective, have you heard of a sting operation? Am I right knowing that the painting was recovered with minimal damage? Yes the frame was chipped slightly but no harm no foul."

"Chipped? The frame was smashed, thousands of dollars worth of damage..."

"Which will be covered by the bureau, we caught the bad guy we needed, but in order to finish up the never ending amount of paperwork we need to speak with Lila." Dean added trying to back me up.

"In the meantime perhaps you want to speak with our superior whilst we speak with Lila." I offered to hand him a business card from my jacket pocket.

He refused the card. "No need, this way." He said showing us the way to the interview rooms.

Thanking the detective and entering the room I saw Nia with her head resting on the table and hands still cuffed together.

"So Lila."


	3. Reunion of Siblings

"So Lila...is it?" Dean asked sarcastically, bashing his hand on the metal table as he walked into the room. With the table jarring with the impact of Dean's hand Nia's head shot up groaning her eyelashes fluttering as her eyes adjusted to the light in the room. "You're still with this asshole? She asked me with a grumble.

"You really want to be left in here?" I asked bluntly as Dean walked around the room and positioned himself so he was leaning against the two-way mirror. "No..." Nia replied, rolling her eyes, avoiding to look at me. "What happened?" I asked her.

"Got busted for pick-pocketing." She replied matching my blunt tone. "You really expect me to believe that? You called me here Ni, you said that there was something that wasn't right. We're here to help you."

My phone started to ring, checking the caller ID it was Sam. Excusing myself and leaving Dean to try and speak with Nia I exited the interview room and accepted the call.

"Hey, how's Nia?"

"We're not sure she isn't being very forthcoming, but I can tell she's scared and holding back. I'm just hoping she will open up..."

"I'm sure that Nia will open up once she realises you're really here to help her."

"Yeah...Me too. How's the other thing?"

"Rowena is still looking, Charlie and Cas are helping."

I looked up from the phone and looked through the small window in the door frame, seeing Nia just sitting still, I could hear some muffled words from Dean. Dropping my head I took a deep breath.

"I've got to go, like it or not my sister needs our help. I need to be there for her. Let me know if you get a break through."

"I will do Nik."

And with that the call ended, putting my phone back into my pocket I smoothed out my jacket and headed back inside the room. Resuming my seat sitting across from Nia she shifts in the uncomfortable seat. "Ni what happened?" I asked her softly, trying to reach out to her.

"For the last time nothing happened! If you're not here to bail me out of here then the pair of you can just get lost!" She snapped bringing her head down to the table. Pushing the chair back so it made a noise I got up, straightened my jacket once more and headed for the door.

"We can't help you if you don't speak up." Dean said gruffly.

"Nikki must still care about you, otherwise she wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be here. Don't take her kindness for granted because next time... You might not get so lucky. We're both here to help you."

"Nicole must care? Ha! Because you got mixed up with him and his delusional brother, you're the reason I'm in here! My mom and dad should have left you in that foster home to rot."

"I get that you're angry that mom and dad died, I do, but your choices led you here Nia but I'm not going to air my dirty laundry here in a police station or in front of Dean." I replied sternly, turning to look at her.

"No you don't get to call them that, you are an outsider. Always were and always will be."

Nia turned away not looking at either of us.

"If you change your mind you call me." I told her and walked out of the room with Dean following behind.

"What was all that about? Bringing up your mom and dad like that?" Dean asked with a huff.

"I'll explain later..."

The pair of us walked out of the police station and got back in the impala. "So what next?" I asked, slumping into the leather seat. Letting out a groan. "We head to the gallery to see what we can find there." Dean replied.

We arrived at the gallery shortly after 2PM walking up the steps, seeing the mess from the robbery still being cleaned up by the members of staff at the gallery. "Hello, this part of the gallery is closed I'm afraid." A staff member said.

"I'm Agent Perry, this is my partner. We were wondering if we could have a look around, ask a few questions?" Dean asked, showing his badge following suit. I showed my badge as well.

"Of course."

While Dean focused on asking some questions I made my way over to where the painting was kept before the robbery. I took a deep breath in and I could still smell the trace of sulphur - So it was a demon after all. There wasn't much else noticeable so I made my way back to Dean.

Walking into the diner we took a booth near the back of the building. "Did you find anything?" Dean asked, looking at the plastic menu.

I nodded. "There were still some traces of sulphur so that confirms the demon theory, might be worth getting in touch with Crowley to find out what was so important with that scroll." I replied with a suggestion.

A waitress came over to the table with a chirpy face and a chirpy voice to match. "Hey folks what can I get ya?"

"Bacon double cheeseburger, fries and a soda." Dean says with a grin. The waitress turns to look at me. "Make that two." I said with a warm smile.

"Coming right up." And with that the waitress walks away.

"How was I so lucky in finding a girl like you?" Dean jokes.

"Don't get me wrong, a salad won't do you any harm but who can resist a good burger in a greasy diner?" I replied with a chuckle resting my head in my hand.

"I'm going to head back to the police station after we're done here, why don't you head back to the motel relax a bit? You didn't get any sleep last night"

"Are you going to speak with Nia again?"

I nodded.

"But what the hell was that? Her blowing up the way she did." Dean asked me.

"You know that I was stuck in a foster home for a few years?"

"Yeah but never knew why."

I felt that I couldn't tell Dean the real reason, I felt like nothing would be the same. Even though I've known him and Sam since I was eighteen. Even now I was ashamed of my upbringing and to this day I would try and evade certain questions about my past. Part of me felt it was wrong, I knew pretty much everything about the Winchesters but if they knew the real me I feared that I would go back to being alone.

"She should have cooled down by the time we're done here, she might talk to me but I'm not holding much hope though."

"She knows that deep down you care for her Nik. It's kinda like how me and Sam are."

"Thanks Dean."

"Anything for you sweetheart."

Anytime Dean called me sweetheart it made my heart swell, I loved this man to bits and who knew that all those years ago of being friends would lead to something a whole lot more. As much as Dean hated it he knew that I would sacrifice my life for his.

Dean dropped me off at the police station and headed back to the motel, he told me to call him if I needed anything. I made my way to the holding cell that Nia was being held in. She looked up and scoffed. "You back here to gloat? Where's that idiot boyfriend of yours?"

I shook my head. "I'll tell you again and again Ni I'm here to help you, please just talk to me."

We shared a sullen silence and then she let out a sigh.

"You mean it? Don't you?" She replied finally looking at me, her jade coloured eyes started to tremble in fear.

"Of course I do, we may not be family by blood but you welcomed me when I needed that support system. What happened the other night?"

"I was only going to the Monroe Art Gallery to score some watches and the odd bit of jewellery I could swipe without getting caught. But...but then I saw this smoke and at first I thought something was on fire but then I felt like I was stuck in my own head." She admitted.

Looking at my surroundings making sure that we still could continue talking. "Was it a thick black smoke?" I asked her softly.

She nodded. "Will it come back?"

"I'll be honest with you, there is the possibility it could..."

My sister looked petrified with my words...

"But there are ways to protect yourself so it won't happen again. Once I get you out of here we can put a plan into action." I finished and after that she seemed to be more at ease. "You really know your stuff don't you?"

"Well it's what I was trained to do..."

After a long debate with the detective that was leading the investigation I persuaded him to release Nia, with the help of Sam who pretended to be my superior, helping her collect her things as we finally walked out of the station. She had a perk in her step. "I can't thank you enough Coley." She says as she turns to me.

"I'm always here for you Nia. I promise." I replied.

"Have you got time for a coffee?" She asked.

I checked my phone and seeing as I had no texts or missed calls I thought why not.

"Sure."

Me and Nia were sitting in the same diner as Dean and I were in earlier in the day. Two cups of coffee were on the table as Nia added sugar in hers stirring it with a spoon. I always preferred mine black. "So...What do we do now?" Nia asked me.

"First thing is to get you protected for the future, how do you feel about tattoos?" I asked her.

"You should know I was never a fan of needles Coley. But I'm guessing I'm going to need one?"

I let out a soft chuckle taking a sip of coffee, setting it back onto the table lightly. "Most hunters we know have an anti-possession tattoo. Dean, Sam and myself all have one. And with that we are protected, we can't be possessed."

"What was it like?" She asked.

"The tattoo? I've been shot multi..."

"No...Not your tattoo...Your training."

"I love you so much Nia but I can't bring up my past..." I said softly looking out the window.

"You never really spoke about it, I just wanted to know..."

I sighed. "There's a reason why I didn't like speaking about it. What I went through...It was cruel and nobody should have gone through it. I was lucky to get out when I did."

"Do you miss your home?" Nia asked innocently.

"No."

After the diner I took Nia to the local 24 hour tattoo shop. It was a small little studio and well decorated. Nia was flicking through some of the designs that the artist had.

"Looking at adding to your collection?" I teased.

"Well if I can stand the pain from this I might just do that." She replied laughing.

I turned back to the counter, pulling out a piece of paper from my trouser pocket. "We're looking for something like this."

"Sure not a problem." The tattooist said.

Forty Five minutes later, Nia had the anti-possession tattoo on the right side of her ribs, and I felt at ease knowing that she was slightly safer against the supernatural. I just now wanted to find the demon that possessed Nia and send the bastard back to hell.

"I've changed my mind, this is going to be the only tattoo I have." Nia said as we walked out of the shop.

"Well it was one of the worst places to get a tattoo so I'm not surprised that you would change your mind."

We carried on walking down the street, the plan was to walk Nia back to her hotel and then I was going to walk back to Dean and try get a few hours shut eye before we got back to work. Saying my goodbyes to my sister I left the lobby. It was dark night and the streets were illuminated by the street and building lights. A mix of neon and the stars filled the sky. It was a pleasant night, not too cold but not too warm either. I walked a few blocks down to the nearby street crossing, waiting for it to be safe to cross. I heard the clearing of the throat.

"Hello Fawn."

"Well it saves the effort of summoning you."

"Squirrel already beat you to it, not often the pair of you are separated. So tell me Fawn."

"If you already got the low-down from Dean I don't need to explain myself to you, but I do want the name of the demon that possessed my sister." I said sternly, raising an eyebrow.

The crossing light had turned green but yet me and the demon stayed put.

"That would have been Actaeon, he's gone off the rails as of late. Hell bent on making up for his past mistakes." Crowley said, shoving his hands in his woolen coat pockets.

"Where can I find him?" I asked.

"You don't find Actaeon. Actaeon finds you."

"Crowley I don't have time to play games, what was so important in that painting he stole?" I asked him.

"The Souls of Gabriel has a scroll inside. The angels wanted it which means I WANT IT. Makes sense don't you think? But if you happen to find Actaeon deal with him won't you darling? Bad boys get punished." Crowley replied and he snapped his fingers and he disappeared.

Shaking my head trying to make sense of the conversation I continued my journey back to the motel, putting the key into the door opening it and I saw Dean laid out on the bed watching TV. He lifted his head up from the pillow. "Was starting to think you were going to be out all night."

"Sorry, I should have called. Good news though. Nia is out of jail and tattooed up. Also spoke to Crowley." I said sitting on the edge of the bed.

After explaining to Dean what Crowley had said. We both got geared up ready to try and find Actaeon. Although we really had no idea where to start but if Crowley was right Actaeon would find us. Which means we had the opportunity to set up a trap. I always still remembered my training and still to this day I always had two thigh holsters which held my handguns and a small silver knife in my boot. Wanting to make sure my hair was tied up properly I headed to the bathroom, I heard my phone ring from the other room.

"I'll get it." Dean said, picking up the phone accepting the call and putting it on speaker.

"Nikki? Can you come over to that bar around the corner from the hotel, something isn't right."

"Sure...Me and Dean will head over now." I said walking to Dean.

"Everything ok Nia?" Dean asked.

"I'm just paranoid I guess."

"We're leaving now."

"Thanks Nik."

The call dropped and Dean handed me back my phone. "Something isn't right."

"Even I could sense something wasn't right there... Nia never calls you Nikki or Nik." Dean replied as we made a bee line for the door running out to the parking lot.

"The bar is about five blocks from the motel." I said quickly sliding into the passenger seat.

Dean started up the impala, Baby roared into life and her tires squealed against the tarmac.

We arrived at the bar, it was a run down building. As we entered the door expecting to see it with patrons but it was empty and Nia was nowhere to be seen.

"Nia?" I called.

"Nia?" Dean said again.

Neither of us heard a response.

While Dean checked the perimeter of the bar, I headed to the back checking the stock room. And when I cautiously opened the door. My heart just shattered into pieces.

Nia was dead...


	4. Shattered

My heart had just shattered into pieces.

**Nia was dead...**

I had seen plenty of bodies in my lifetime but with this being Nia's body and not just some stranger. It was different. It was a member of my family so now it was personal.

Her body was tied to a chair, the rope that once bound her was drenched with her blood. Whatever blood was still in her body still slowly dripped onto the floor. Her head tilted backwards _\- lifeless_. Her eyes had rolled and dry tears and what makeup was left stained her once perfect features. Nia's long black hair was matted and messy. I noticed her top had been cut, pulling the knife I had in my boot. I used it to carefully peel the blood soaked garment away for a closer inspection, the new anti-possession tattoo she had gotten a mere few hours before, the tattoo that was meant to keep her safe had a large gash breaking it. And just like a devil's trap or salt circle once it was broken you were no longer protected.

I felt something wet on my face. I was crying. I didn't cry. I was never allowed to. But suddenly I just collapsed to the ground, the knife that was once in my hand clattered to the floor. The last and only normal part of my life had been taken away from me. I curled up into a ball on the floor. I felt weak, powerless and vulnerable.

Was she in Heaven? Was she in Hell?

As I laid there on the floor. I remembered...

 **Weaknesses are not tolerated. Failure is not an option.** _My training started when I was five years old, I was taught how to dismantle and reassemble a handgun, then shoot it with precision by seven my marksmanship was the top of its game. I even rivalled some of the adults. At eight I had to prove that I was the top of my class, my opponent and other classmates finally understood why you never brought a knife to a gunfight. I was being trained into the perfect killing machine, they were lucky I was a blank slate when I arrived. When my fourteenth birthday came I was sent out in the field, it was also the day I escaped from the clutches of my handler._

 _"Nicole, step forward."_

_I did as I was asked and stepped forward, there was a line of us eight of us to be exact both male and female. All dressed in black, our hair was neat and tidy and the same solemn expression littered each individual face except for one._

_"Maxwell, step forward."_

_The boy froze in his place._

_"Maxwell, step forward. You know the rules if your name is called out you step forward." The voice said again this time firmer with more authority._

_The boy finally stepped forward and the rest of the line was dismissed, they dispersed quickly and quietly hardly making a sound._

_"One of you is ready to graduate. But you must prove your worth. You must prove to 'The Men of Letters' that you are ready."_

_With that we were left on our own. We knew that only one would leave the room - That person would be me._

_"Nicole... We don't have to do this." Maxwell whimpered, his eyes searching for a shred of hope._

_"This is what they have trained us for." I said bluntly looking at the few weapons that were left on a nearby table._

_"But..."_

_"Maxwell you are weak. And weaknesses will not be tolerated!" I shouted as I picked up a throwing knife and launched it at him. I missed by an inch._

_"You were chosen because you needed to be dealt with. Failure is not an option, you have failed the Men of Letters because you are weak." I stated as I cornered him._

And right before I had him pinned up against a wall...

I shot back up but this time I wasn't alone Dean had me cradled in his arms. I then broke down, tears streamed down my face once more, I buried myself in his jacket. From that moment the remnants of the person I used to be, came flooding back. I will hunt down this demon and nobody is going to stop me.  
  
"Nikki I'm so sorry." Dean said, trying to shush me to try and calm me down.

"I need...I need to put her to rest." I muttered trying to get out of Dean's embrace. He wouldn't let me go at first.

Escaping Dean's iron hold I clambered back up to my feet, bending down to pick up the knife. The silver blade being a welcomed cold feeling on my palms as I tightened my grip. Carefully making my way to Nia's body I sliced through the blood soaked ropes.

"I know she wasn't a hunter but I think a hunter's funeral would be best." Dean said softly.

I nodded, finally through all of the ropes that held Nia. I closed her eyes and Dean walked over and carefully picked her up. 

"Please be careful with her." I whispered.

Dean never uttered a word but simply nodded. As he held Nia close to his chest, not caring that her blood stained his clothes, we made our way through the empty bar and back to the impala, opening the back seat door Dean slid Nia's body onto the smooth yet worn leather. We drove towards the Las Vegas Ranger District as that was the closest place to give Nia a proper hunters funeral. The drive was silent, nothing but the odd glance at one another. By early morning we arrived, Dean immediately got out of the car and got the axe that lived in the trunk. I still sat in the car keeping Nia company, I turned to look at her.

"Ni, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you when you needed me, I'm sorry I have been a crappy sister. But I promise you that I will find the bastard that did this to you and I will make them pay. I hope wherever you are, you're happy and at peace." I whispered to her, reaching out to hold her cold and lifeless hand one last time.

Once Dean had cut down enough trees to make a base, he offered to get Nia out of the car but I declined, I had to be the one to do this. I opened that car door and picked up my sister. Even though she was slightly taller than me I was still able to lift her. I put her on a white sheet that Dean got out of the trunk and placed on the floor. Smoothing out her hair, I kissed my fore and middle fingers and planted them on her forehead.

"Sweet dreams sis." I said softly and wrapped her up tying the sheet where necessary.

I carried Nia to the base, I struggled to place her down and Dean with an act of kindness aided me, he didn't take over he just helped and I was thankful for it. He then took a step back as I doused Nia's body with salt and the gasoline. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver zippo style lighter - it was Nia's lighter, the one I had bought for her on her birthday when she turned 21. I had it engraved with the words. **'Smoking is bad for you. You're a pain in the ass. Try not to lick anymore window glass.'** I took the lighter. It seemed fitting to do it with this. As I flicked the lighter a flame appeared. I watched the mix of blue and amber dance together.

"I promise I will avenge you Ni..." And with that I threw the lighter onto the wood and flames roared to life as they ate up her body.

Dean pulled me close, both of our eyes were red...

"Has your past got something to do with Nia's death?" Dean asked me to break the silence.

"Yes..."

We stayed with Nia for a good twenty minutes and then headed back to the car. My walking pace was faster than Deans.

"Actaeon as in the wind, we need to rethink how we are going to do this." Dean suggested softly.

"How I'm going to rethink this." I said stopping and turning to face him. 

"Nik, you can't do this one alone." Dean replied, coming to a halt.

I shrugged my shoulders. " _I can't do this alone?_ You should know me better than anyone Dean, that if I'm told I can't do something I will do the opposite." I argued raising my voice.

"You'll get yourself killed!" Dean snapped.

"Then so be it! I just had the last shred of normality ripped away from me." I shouted back.

"You want to end up like Nia? You want it to be where it's me and Sam burning your body? Is this what you're aiming for? You are the best thing that happened to me Nikki and I'm going to bloody make sure you're still around. If Nia's death is connected to your past then you need to fill me in. Even if it's just the basics."

"You know the basics Dean. I was in a foster home when I was fourteen, I met you and Sam a couple years later." I replied bringing my tone of voice back to its softer tone of voice.

"Why were you in that foster home though?"

"Because I ran away from what I thought was my home. Because I wanted no connection with my past and coming to America was the best way to do that. Because I wanted to forget what I was being turned into, but when it's drilled into you 24/7 for almost a decade you don't know any different!" I ranted.

Every time I spoke Dean inched closer to me and by the time I had finished speaking we were face to face, I had told him too much. I let my emotions get the better of me. He pulled me closer and kissed me hard but full of love and passion, he held my face in his hands. But while he was doing that I had another idea in mind, I reached into my jacket pocket and held onto a set of handcuffs that I shoved in there earlier, and with a grip on the metal restraint I slowly pulled them out quietly so I wouldn't be caught. 

"I am so sorry." I whispered as I pulled away from Dean.

I quickly attached one cuff to his wrist, manoeuvring around so I stood behind him. I grabbed his other hand and cuffed that one as well. A look of disbelief was plastered over Dean's face.

"Nik? What are you doing?" He asked cautiously, spinning back around to face me.

"I have to find him D...I have to send that son of a bitch to rot back in hell. He killed my sister..." I replied with tears falling down my features once more. I cried more times today then I had ever done in the past.

"Revenge is a dangerous road to go down. You told me that." Dean pleaded.

"I don't want you to see the things I'm going to do." I said plainly.

"Please when this is over I hope you forgive me." I added and punched him in the face with such force I knocked him clean out.

As Dean fell backwards I fished my phone from my pocket. Dialing Crowley's number he picked immediately.

**"Fawn pleasant surprise."**

"Where can I find him?" I asked, looking back over my shoulder still seeing Dean passed out.

**"Like I said you don't find Actaeon."**

"Then point me in the right direction Crowley..." I snapped.

**"Fine, fine."**

The phone line went dead but however he appeared at my side. Peering over my shoulder he saw Dean still unconscious; he pulled a sarcastic face.

"Dean will wake up with a headache and nothing more." I told him.

"If you say so."

"Anyway, so like I have mentioned time and time again, you don't find Actaeon. But I can point you in the right direction. Head over to this address. You're looking for a sweet thing called Kandy. And by sweet I mean fickle and conniving."

"So just normal demon behaviour? So this Kandy she works for Actaeon?" I replied sarcastically raising an eyebrow.

"Your reputation precedes you Miss Callahan..."

"Nobody calls me that now..."

"You really think a change in last name and moving to another country would keep you safe?" Crowley asked.

"It worked well so far..."

"Does Moose and Squirrel know of your past?"

"No and it stays that way. Do you hear me?" I almost shouted back.

Crowley put both of his hands up in surrender. "Alright Fawn I won't say a word." 

Still holding my phone I threw it on the ground making sure it smashed in the process, I couldn't have Sam nor Dean track me. This would be my fight. Satisfied that my phone no longer worked I walked over to Baby knowing that putting a knife in her tires would definitely end my relationship with the unconscious hunter so instead I took the dust caps off letting the air out. I needed that small head start before Dean came around. I took off the two thigh holsters and left one of my weapons on the ground near the impala. I wanted to use it as a sign to Dean that I would come back.

I turned to Crowley. "Let's go." Holding one of my guns, sliding out the magazine and checking the chamber, and then tucking it into the waistband of my jeans hiding it with my jacket.

Crowley got me to where I needed to be, Omaha Nebraska to be exact. I was currently looking at this small bar located down this alleyway, standing in a small puddle I turned to look at Crowley. "This is where this Kandy is?" I asked.

"Correct Fawn, this is the end of the line in where I shall be assisting you. Good luck."

"I know you didn't have to help me, but thank you." I replied.

Holding my head high I entered the small bar, this time there were actual people inside which was a good sign, as I approached the counter I took note of the bartender cleaning glasses. She was around 5ft5, bubblegum pink hair with bright blue eyes. Her makeup was full and her false eyelashes were one of the most standout features, she stood out. "Hi Sugar, what can I get you." She asked in a southern accent.

"Whiskey neat please." 

The bartender picked up a clean glass and put it on the counter bending down to get a bottle of whiskey and poured a generous helping into the glass. She nudged it forward. Taking the glass I brought it to my lips and took a sip, pausing for a moment appreciating the taste I placed it back onto the counter.

"What's a sweet thing like you doing in a place like this?" The bartender asked me in her southern drawl.

"Could ask you the same question?" I countered.

"Well I work here sugar. What's your excuse?"

I took another sip of my drink enjoying the burn. "I'm looking for someone."

"I make it my business to know everything and everyone about this city."

"Do you know where I can find someone called Kandy?" I asked tracing the rim of the glass with my finger.

"Well you're looking at her. Now are you a friendly hunter or do I need to get my friends over there involved?" She asked pointing to some of the bar patrons as her eyes flickered to black and then back to the radiant blue.

I turned to look over my shoulder seeing the potential demons by the door.

"If you don't give me a reason to shoot you then I'm a friendly hunter I shall be." I replied, flashing her a smile.

"I'm told you work for Actaeon, do you know where I can find him?"

Kandy let out a chuckle and leaned towards me. "I sure do. But why would I go against him? I mean Actaeon keeps me safe from the likes of your kind."

"You know how I said before that I wouldn't shoot you, you're now starting to give me a reason to." I told the pink hair demon giving her a wink.

I downed the rest of my drink and slammed it on the counter. "Unless you want a bullet in between your eyes. I know, I know it won't kill you but I'm pretty sure I can get hold of an angel blade that will. Actaeon may have protected you from other hunters but he won't be able to keep you safe from me..." I added in a sickly sweet voice.

"And there is the person that I've heard so much about." Kandy said with a chuckle.

After that moment a bag covered my head and I was restrained. I struggled in the grip that held onto my tight. Kicking my legs trying in any attempt to break free from my captors. "Let me go!" I attempted in a muffled shout. As I was moved into another part of the bar I was forced into a seated position, I then had my arms tied behind my back to the back of the chair.

"Well, well, well" Said an unknown male voice.


	5. Capture

_ “Well, well, well.” Said the unknown voice. _

It’s true when they say that once one of your senses is removed, your other remaining ones are heightened. All I could see was darkness but that was because I had something covering my face, a bag or blindfold perhaps. But the room itself was cold and had wooden floorboards judging by the creeks it made when I shifted about in the chair that bound me. The odd bit of breeze passed me as I presumed my captor circled me like a bit of prey. 

“I heard you were looking for me, but looks like I found you first. I’m Actaeon but you already knew that. You don’t seem to be wanting to put up much of a fight, it's a shame really. Your sister Nia was it? She was much more entertaining.” The voice continued in a sickerning tone. I could feel the breath right in front of my face.

“Well being trained by ‘The Men of Letters’ we were taught many things, being captured by demons happened to be on the teaching itenary. Just in time before the summer holidays.” I sassed back. 

The object covering my eyes was ripped off, the thin piece of fabric fluttered to the floor, this was the first time I had looked my captor in their eyes. Making sure to steady my breathing I didn’t want him to think that I was scared, to think that I was weak. That I knew I was not. My eyes quickly darted to parts of the room. Even though it was dark I could see the faint trickle of light coming through the door frame. I tried to twist my bound wrists but to no avail. 

“Now, now little one, it is a shame really though. I saw what you were becoming all those years ago. Cold and heartless ready to take a life when you were told to. Pity that once you fell into the clutches of John Winchester and his boys you gained the one thing I despise.”

“And what would that be?” I asked.

“Compassion.” Actaeon sneered, walking towards a table covered by the shadows. He picked up something I couldn’t see what it was but I knew that he wanted to inflict some form of pain. 

Actaeon held the knife close to my features. “You had so much potential and you wasted it all. I’m disappointed Nicole I really am.”

I shuddered slightly. “I killed your kind! Demons, monsters and ghosts you name it I was sent to kill it.” I spat.

“And who do you think helped give the locations of some of those cases you had? I needed someone to hunt down certain people so I could get a higher position in hell.”

“Yet it was Crowley who helped me track you down. He wants you gone. What was it he said to me? Oh yeah...Bad boys get punished...” I said trying to struggle away from the knife. 

“But look at the predicament you're in, a knife to your throat. No way out and even if you free yourself of your bounds you don’t stand a chance against me. But aren't you curious why I murdered your sister?” 

“I’m not stupid Actaeon you want to bait me. So I lose my temper, so you have the upper hand, you want me to cloud my judgement with my emotions. Even though it pains me to say this, Nia was an easy opportunity; she was a simple throwaway toy for you. But with her you could also kill two birds with one stone. Yes you wanted the scroll from the painting but the thing you wanted more was  **_me_ ** **.** You wanted me to suffer because I killed your love.  Cecilia. She was my first demon kill and what you hated the most was the fact I was just a child.” I replied to him. My voice was strong and dominating. I showed no weaknesses towards him.

“So you do remember then?” Actaeon asked me, bending down to my eye level.

“I always remember.”

_ Night was always the easiest to work, there were always less people about which meant less witnesses. As I ran at full speed through a puddle water droplets splashed on my face I turned the corner and I knew that my trap had worked. I clutched my angel blade in my right hand and the remains of some holy water in my left.  _

_ “Chirsto.” I shouted and the demon fell to her knees. She looked in pain and blond curls fell over her face.  _

_ “P-please don’t” She begged. _

_ “You are a demon...Demons don’t deserve to live. You have taken the lives of so many people but it is ironic that you will die by my hand. A child’s hand no less.”  _

_ I stepped closer so that I was literally inches away. I splashed the remaining water I had on the face of the demon. She screamed in agony.  _

I screamed in agony, something that I was now sharing with my first kill. The knife Actaeon held moved upwards to my cheek and he dragged it down towards my neck and past my collarbone. The knife was cold as the metal touched my skin but as the blade tore through me it brought me back to reality.

“Now this is getting me excited, little one.” Actaeon said breaking the torture he lifted the knife to his lips licking the blood that dripped off the edge of the blade. 

“Just do what you want to me, get it over with. You’ve killed my family and Dean and Sam? They won’t miss me when I’ve gone.” I said sheepishly. Whatever confidence I had before melted away I knew deep down I wasn’t going to leave alive. 

Actaeon continued the assault. My clothes had been torn and now covered in blood. My face, neck, torso and arms were littered in cuts. I was now nothing more than a shell of my previous self. Hell bent on revenge. And what I told Dean in the past. And when he repeated my own words to me I knew he was right.

With each cut I cried out for help.

“ _ Revenge is a dangerous road to go down Dean! Your head gets filled with emotions and then your judgement is clouded, you don’t think straight and then that's when you get reckless. Trust me I know.”  _

Recalling another memory I hung my head in shame. I knew I wasn’t the person ‘The Men of Letters’ tried to mold me to be. I was my own person. I forged my own path thanks to learning the Winchester way. You look out for those who you love. Because a wise salty hunter with a phobia of salad and lover of bullets, booze and bacon once told me that family, don’t end in blood. But it doesn’t start there either. Family cares about you, not what you can do for them, family’s there for the good the bad all of it. They got your back even when it hurts.

“Come now little one, the fun is just beginning. Now where to find your anti-possession tattoo. Shall you tell me or am I going to have to just rip every single piece of clothing from your body to find it?” Actaeon said breaking my train of thought. 

I struggled once more on my bindings, I made a mistake going after Nia’s killer alone. I needed my family. I needed Dean. Actaeon grabbed my chin tightly. “So you finally want to plead for your life?” 

“My name is Nicole Marie Williams and today isn’t my time to die.” I shouted and kicked Actaeon in between his legs. He might be a demon but even demons felt that. My blow caused him to fall to a knee and I used that time to try and wiggle free. Fresh rope burns went over the older ones but all of a sudden the door to the room flew open and two figures stepped through. 

“You’ve been a very bad boy…” Crowley says dripping with sarcasm. 

Within seconds a blast sent Actaeon across the room and pinned to a nearby wall. 

“Shall I end him Fergus?” Said the ginger haired witch I loved but hated at the same time.

“Not today mother that job belongs to Fawn here.” Crowley says slicing through the rope with his angel blade. As I shrugged out of the bindings I picked myself up, I wobbled a little and my head swam because of the blood loss from my injuries but I took the blade from Crowley and made my way over to the demon pinned by magic. 

“I can see the look in your eyes, you're scared. Now you know some of the pain my sister felt and all of the others you have murdered for sport. I hope you get what you deserve you son of a bitch!” And with that I plunged the blade into his heart. The magic that once held him vanished and his body dropped to the floor in a heap . I turned to face Crowley and Rowena.

“Thank you…” I whispered to them. 

“Well I suppose you should get back to your boys, I mean I sent them halfway across the country. Their worried sick Nicole dear.”

“I know I have a lot of making up to do, but I want to make us even.” I said as I bent down and searched for the scroll in the fallen demons pockets.

“This should make us even.” I told the demon and witch as I handed the scroll that started the whole ordeal.

“Is that...The souls of Gabriel?” Rowena asked with her thick scottish accent. 

“That mother it is.” 

“Nicole dear, I sent Dean and Sam to Oregon two days ago. If you leave now you might make it back before them.” 

I nodded my head slowly and with a small smile I handed Crowley his blade and left the building. 

The drive back to Kansas was long and grueling, I had no idea what to say to Sam nor Dean but I knew I had to come up with something. We were a family and with my actions I felt I had almost destroyed it. When I got back to the bunker I needed to patch myself up. I needed several stitches for the wounds that Actaeon had inflicted but the one thing that I had set my mind to. Cas would not be healing me, each scratch, each mark I will be remembering and if I would be left with scars then so be it. 

I pulled into the bunker late in the evening, I remember leaving where I was being held at night but I felt like I had something stuck in my throat as I saw the Impala parked in the drive. My muscles ached from everything I had been through. 

As I heaved myself from the old battered car I had ‘borrowed’ I made my way to the door. I supported my right arm with my left hand due to the deep wound. But I just stood there looking at the door handle. I was nervous...No petrified was more like it. My breathing intensified and I started to sweat and my body shook in fear. I had no idea what was happening to me but I wanted it to stop. I felt tears leak from my eyes and they made my face sting as the droplets rolled into some of the cuts on my face. With a shaky hand I reached for the handle and opened the heavy metal door. I felt like bambi on ice as I took small steps and carefully took to the stairs. I looked down to see both brothers stare at me in pure horror…

“It’s done…” I muttered as I took the last final steps to the ground. Dean had gotten up from his seat and left leaving me with Sam. 

“Nik what the hell happened?” He asked, guiding my frail body to the chairs in the library.

“What needed to be done, Actaeon is gone.” I whispered, not looking at Sam. 

I sat in silence as Sam started to patch me up, I felt the burn of the rubbing alcohol as he cleaned each one of my wounds. I felt each time the needle went in and out of my skin. But I refused to mutter a word. In the past I had been shot at, stabbed but this time I felt more pain than anything else I had experienced. 

About twenty minutes had passed and Sam had finally finished the last stitch, he tried to get some small talk out of me but I stayed silent. I looked down seeing the vast amount of bandages on my arms and the large one on my collarbone and neck. Stretching my arms I looked up seeing Sam place the unused first aid items away and throwing the used wipes and wrappers in the bin. He looked at me offering a small smile. 

“Nik, it’s ok please talk to me.” He offered as he tried to reassure me. 

I opened my mouth but then shut it just as quickly. I looked down at the floor. 

“How much damage have I caused?” I asked softly.

“Dean’s...He...He’s angry Nik. He’s angry that you left him to deal with this on your own. That whatever was in your past you felt the need to keep from us. That you don’t trust us enough to know what happened.” Sam responded.

“What about you? How do you feel?” I whispered.

“I kept the thing about ‘The Book of the Damned’ a secret so we’re even but you never hide things away from my brother Nik, he is also pissed that you punched him.” Sam said ending his sentence with a chuckle.

“I didn’t want Actaeon to use Dean or me as leverage for one another, but I also didn’t want Dean finding out who I really was all those years ago. I thought it would scare him.” I said honestly.

“Speaking of that, what did you mean when you told Dean about running away from your old home?” Sam asked hoping you would speak to him.

“Let me get things right with Dean and I’ll tell you both everything. I promise.” I murmured 

Sam nodded. I got up from the chair and steadily headed down the hallway. Using the walls to steady myself so I wouldn’t fall. I stood in front of our bedroom door and I paused for a moment. I felt the rush of the nervousness and fear once more. With a shaky hand, I knocked on the door softly with my knuckle. Then I reached for the golden doorknob and opened the door slowly. I saw Dean sat at the edge of the bed hunched over resting his forearms on his knees. He didn’t acknowledge me as I entered the room. Cautiously walking over I sat next to him. Feeling the shift in the mattress as I sat he immediately got up heading over to the desk in the room.

“What the hell was that?” Dean asked with a growl.

“WHAT WAS THAT?!?!” Dean shouted.

“I didn’t want you getting hurt.” I started letting out a shaky breath. We didn’t argue like this often. And I knew that a storm was brewing.

“I thought you trusted me? I thought we were partners?” Still keeping his voice raised.

“We are.” I attempted.

“Really? Then why did I wake up with a killer headache, flat tyres and you missing only to see one of your guns next to me and your phone smashed to bits.” 

“I had too! I...I...I...I didn’t want Actaeon using either one of us as bait for each other, he relied on emotions but I didn’t want you seeing what I was doing, I didn’t want you to see me stoop so low. Yes I made a mistake doing it alone and I released it far too late. At one point I thought I was going to die. But the reason why Nia was killed in the first place was because of me! I wanted to try and right a wrong. You of anybody should understand that. I could have made a demon deal, I could have tried magic to bring her back but I’m not you or Sam...I’m not that lucky. But what about the times when you left Sam to do your crusading. The times you left both of us even though we agreed to do it together….”

“That was different Nik and you know it!” Dean interrupted.

“How is it? How was it different?” I pleaded.

Dean just looked at me dead in the eyes. I could tell he wanted to object to what I just said but he couldn’t, from looking at him I saw how tired his eyes were, that he hadn’t had a shave in days, the stubble appearing on his jawline and features. 

“What I did was no different to what you would have done, we’re so alike and at times it's scary but it’s what makes us work! But now that this has happened and that my past is out there coming to get me I need to be honest with you and your brother and I’m going to tell you it all, yes I’m frightened by this and I’m scared at the fact you both might push me away but I also know either of you won’t do that because we’re a family. But I want us to be good before I do that. I am so sorry that I left you in the middle of nowhere, I’m sorry that you had to resort to asking Rowena for help.”

“You saw me when I was a demon Nik, you saw what I was. I tried to kill you and Sam that day in this place. And yet you still loved me. You still cared. Whatever your past is it can’t be any worse than that.” Dean said softly, tears welling up in his eyes. 

“At times I think that it is.” I said softly getting up from the bed moving to Dean’s side. 

“Look what he did to you.” His fingers ghosting over the bandages.

“Head to the library I’ll meet you there, I just need to get something first.” I told him planting a kiss to his stubbly cheek and made a move to the door. But I was stopped in my tracks. 

Dean grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me to him, I let out an excited breath before I was then devoured with kiss after kiss. I ran my fingers through his hair and tugged on a few of the strands, Dean span round and lifted me onto his hip moving backwards to pin me against the wall, his lips moved to the exposed parts of skin on my neck planting small kisses up and down my neck and left side of my collarbone. Using his much larger hands he brought my arms just above my head and held onto them, the action hurt but in a good way and Dean knew it. I was feeling on top of the world right now thanks to the mix of dopamine, oxytocin and painkillers.

“Sam can wait…” Dean breathed. 


	6. The Past

_ “Sam can wait” _

Every touch was fire, desire and pain all combined into one. Dean was never a spoken person, he believed that actions said more and at that moment I finally understood. Each touch, each grab was harsh...forced to the point of leaving bruises but his lips spoke a completely different story; they showed love, compassion. His kisses were soft and meaningful and truly showed how hurt he was. But most importantly he showed me that he still cared and that he was on his way to forgiving me. I wanted to let him in, I wanted to show him I was sorry but we were doing it the wrong way. Dean used sex as a distraction before. And now it was me doing the same, we were no closer in fixing our problems with my little revenge trip, only burying them underneath the pile of clothes on the floor. Sweat dripped off our bodies and we tried to regulate our breathing. Dean rolled off me wiping the sweat build up from his forehead and wiped it on the bed sheets. I stared at the ceiling, my chest no longer heaved gasping for air, my hair was messy and sprawled out on the pillows. Feeling exposed I pulled the covers to hide my form and guilt from my partner to whom was inches away from me. I never hid. But I felt nothing but pure guilt. 

As I carefully removed my side of the covers I swung my legs so my feet just touched the floor. I stretched and my back arched in the process and I felt Dean’s palm graze itself down my spine and towards my hips, he slightly moved upwards and caressed my anti-possession tattoo that was located on the left side of my ribcage, his fingers ghosted a path on the line work and leaned towards me planting small kisses on the back of my neck, I shuddered under his touch. Dean always knew how to make me feel like a goddess. He gently pulled my bare form back to his. And guided me back to lie down, he positioned both of us so that we were comfy and my head rested on his chest and I listened to his heartbeat. The steady rhythm had started to lull me to sleep along with the soft strokes on my head. Lazily I started to trace the lines of his well defined chest but within a few moments I was fast asleep. 

The next morning came and I fluttered my eyes, my vision started with a blur as I blinked a few more times I looked over to see Dean missing from the bed. I looked over once more seeing the clothes that were once on the floor picked up and gone and noticed the fresh bed sheets on the table ready to be changed later in the day. I also noticed that next to the sheets was a clean set of clothes and underwear had been left out for me along with the first aid kit. I sat up and brought the covers up to my chest once again and rolled my neck clockwise and then the opposite way feeling my neck crack and relishing in the feeling. Dropping the covers feeling the fabric slipping through my fingers I repeated the same action with my shoulders trying to sooth the deep ache in my muscles. 

Finally getting out of bed I reached for the clean clothes and proceeded to get myself dressed. Gingerly pulling on my shirt trying not to irritate or pull at the bandages and dressings that covered my healing wounds. Putting on jeans was a harder task, I failed to notice the damage on my thighs. A mix of fresh wounds and scars littered the tops of my thighs. Pausing taking a moment I skimmed a finger over the deepest scar that littered my legs. Sighing that at one point years ago I was ready to join my mom and dad. Feeling a tear that pricked my eye I shook my head and composed myself. Finishing getting dressed I stripped the bed, putting the dirty sheets on the floor whilst I put the fresh sheets on. As I was bent over tucketing the sheet underneath the mattress, I heard the door open and a set of footsteps entered the room. I flicked my head seeing Sam in the doorway with a cup of tea in hand. My heart sank slightly when it wasn’t Dean but instead it was his brother. 

“I thought you might want a hot drink.” Sam said softly, placing it on the table in the room.

Smiling at the younger brother I finished my task and bent down and picked the dirty sheets placing them at the edge of the bed. I made my way over to the hot beverage and picked it up, one hand on the handle and the other wrapped around the main part of the cup enjoying the warmth from the liquid as it spread through my hand.

“Don’t suppose you added a shot of whiskey to this did you?” I asked with a chuckle taking a sip.

“I didn’t but I came to change your bandages.” Sam replied, taking a seat next to me as the bed sank a little..

“Where’s Dean?” I asked softly, moving the sleeve on my shirt so Sam could check the bandage. 

“He’s doing a food run and asked me to check up on you. Did you get things sorted last night?” Sam said as he peeled the bandage off my arm with care and applied some disinfectant to the healing skin.

I scrunched my face slightly, gripping the cup feeling the sting and a new bandage was put on. “Not exactly. We did talk but it didn’t get sorted how I wanted it to. Things digressed…” I explained turning my head away trying to hide the blush that was forming on my features. 

“How did he seem this morning?” I pondered turning back to face Sam once more, taking another sip from my drink. Shifting again allowing Sam access to a different part of my body so he could repeat the motion of patching me back up. 

“He seemed better then he had been, the day he came back...I hadn’t seen that look on my brother in a long time Nik, you hurt him but you know that. When we were trying to locate where you were he didn’t sleep, didn’t eat, only drank. It was killing him from the inside. I’m just glad you came home when you did otherwise I think there would have been a larger mess of the pair of you to fix.” Sam explained to me, finishing up checking on the wounds that needed looking at. 

“There are things I want to explain to you both when Dean comes back if that's ok? It might be the explanation you both need. And I should have been open and honest about it from the get go when I meet you both.” 

“Nik...You don’t have too…” Sam started.

“I do Sam. I need to. I owe it to Dean and you.” I interrupted.

Slinging an arm around my shoulder Sam brought me in a half hug, I rested my head in the arch of his shoulder and I relaxed slightly, I was already starting to feel tense knowing that the boys were going to learn about my past.

Finishing the drink Sam took the cup from me along with the dirty washing, I asked if he was sure and he nodded smiling reminding me that it was his turn to do the washing. Before leaving the room he ruffled my hair, a gesture that he had always done and I smiled again at the interaction. Letting out a breath I left the room and headed towards the file room. Walking the back of the room bending down I opened up the dusty box and lifted the mountain of files that was stored inside onto the floor. The box itself had cases between the 1920’s and 1940’s a box that I had looked through myself and at the bottom was a single file. A file I had placed in there long before hoping to forget about but alas today would be the day I would bring it out. The file itself was thicker than some of the other the Men Of Letters files had on their operatives. Putting the files back in the box I placed the lid back on and grabbed I came for and left the room, slightly shaking as I made my way to the library. I saw Sam sat down at the table with his laptop typing away as I took a seat holding onto the file for dear life. 

“Dean texted said he’ll be back in a few minutes.” Sam said, still looking at the laptop screen and I felt relieved a little knowing that he hadn’t seen what was in my hand. 

“When he gets back tell him to wait in here. I forgot something.” I lied as I got up and made a break to the bathroom. 

Hurrying down the walls I got to the bathroom and shut the door leaning up and sliding down it ever so slightly. Looking at the file in my hands I hesitantly opened it seeing the first page that was written in  [ 1986 ](https://xxsovereignsarayaxx.tumblr.com/post/614289905764450304/date-of-record-25-nov-1986) . Skimming my eyes down the page, when I first read it I was shocked but now it didn’t phase me at all it was just another piece of paper making up my childhood...Or whatever you would call it. I looked at the photos of myself paperclipped to each report and I saw the naive look I once had, I was so young when they first started with me and at the time I thought it was normal so I couldn’t see the harm they were doing to me. I didn’t have anyone my own age to play with so I thought it was normal.I wanted to make them proud so I gave them everything I had. Closing the file I clambered back to my feet and reached for the handle opening the door. 

Returning back to the library I saw Sam and Dean waiting for me, they both had a bottle of beer and I spotted a third on the table for me. I placed the file gently on the table and slid it over to them. 

“What's this?” Sam asked me whilst Dean looked at the cover, it shared the logo of the other files all three of us had read. 

“My life prior to the American foster system.” I whispered to them, still stood up. 

Dean opened the folder and took out the first page he looked at the photo. “You were a cute kid.” He mumbled. He lifted the photo and started reading. 

Sam looked at me, we shared glances but he never said a word. He waited patiently for his brother to finish reading the first report. Deep down I think Sam knew Dean needed this more than he did. 

Moments later Dean handed Sam the report and looked at me. “There are few similar, to one you just read. But I thought it might give you an insight to why I never told you about it.”

“So what you said before was true?” Dean asked sheepishly.

I nodded. “If you look for the report dated 1996 it goes into a bit more detail of what they taught me. However when I disappeared shortly after they must have destroyed most of the files they had on me and the Kendricks Programme, I was given a few of the saved files by the person who brought me over to the states. The very same person who dumped me in the foster system.” I admitted. 

Dean flicked through the file and lifted out the  [ 1996 ](https://xxsovereignsarayaxx.tumblr.com/post/614289911119544320/date-of-record-1-jan-1996) report I told him about along with another that was dated two years prior however most of it was blanked out. “What was this one?” He asked, showing me the date for 1994. 

“I...I can’t remember much but I think I was left in a dark room for a while, and then I would be allowed to walk into another room, there was a...a table and I would be restrained...I had to answer questions if I made a mistake...something bad would happen.” I replied my voice sounded scared and quiet. 

“I’ll leave you both to it, there is a fair bit to read.” I added and left the room and headed back to bed. 

I laid on top of the bed and curled up, I had my back to the door but had my eyes closed. Shortly after I heard the door open once more but I failed to see which brother it was. But from how close they sat next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder I knew it was Dean. 

“Thank you.” I whispered, still with my eyes closed. 

“What for?” Dean asked back.

“For not hating me, for not being disgusted of who I was.”I replied. Turning myself over to look at him.

“Nik, I could never hate you. It wasn’t your fault either, those sons of bitches did that to you. But you're not what those reports made you out to be. Do you know what I see? I see a strong, beautiful woman who knows how to handle herself. She is fierce and loyal. She’ll do anything for her family. Sure when we first met she had trust issues and I’m pretty sure she liked me from day one. But now I see a carbon copy of myself, good looks and all. From loving bacon to booze I know she is the girl for me.” 

He paused. 

“Another thing, she has a killer right hook.” Dean teased. 

I sat up and smiled at him. He placed a hand on my cheek and I melted once more in his touch, he then planted a kiss on my forehead. 

“The first time I was sent in the field it was a test and I failed because I got hurt. But the demon was called  Cecilia. It turned out that she was romantically involved with Actaeon and because of me killing her that was the reason Nia was killed. He copied how I tortured her and repeated it on me, the only difference was I got out…Nia wasn’t so lucky.” 

“So Actaeon was acting on revenge?” 

“Looks that way. Revenge does things to people, it brings out the worst in people…” 

“Yeah…”

The pair of us sat in silence just enjoying each other's company. 

“I forgot to ask you, how are you feeling? With the mark and all? Have you slept any better?” I asked him.

“Sweetheart I’m fine, I’m now more worried about you.” 

“D...I’m ok.” 

“You just up-hauled a major part of your past Nik. I don’t expect you to be fine.” 

“D…” I started.

“Come on grab your jacket we’re going for a drive.”

Doing as Dean said, I grabbed my jacket and we headed out, as I slid into the passenger seat in the Impala and sunk into the worn leather seats. We had no cases so we were able to enjoy this moment of peace. As Dean drove the sun was high and there was a slight breeze so with the windows down my hair fluttered. I picked out the Def-Leppard cassette along with my sunglasses on and for the first time in a while I had a smile plastered on my face, motioning a wave with my hand I felt the cool breeze as my arm dangled out of the window. Dean looked at me a few times and he too had a smile and as he sang the words to the music I think this is what we both needed. He had his left arm resting on the ledge of his window and keeping the wheel steady while his right hand was eloped with mine giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

Pulling my sunnies up and used them as a headband, it allowed Dean’s green eyes to mix with my blue ones. He chuckled and used the upcoming layby to pull the car over. Putting Baby in park he shifted and looked at me once more. The leather squeaking with the motion.

“Next time either one of us needs to go on a kick ass mission we tell each other the plan. Deal?” Dean said.

I chuckled and reached to touch his cheek rubbing my thumb against the growing stubble. “Deal.” And sealed it with a kiss. 


End file.
